Midnight Moon With The Stars
by That Matt Attack
Summary: Starts right after Sirius has supposedly killed Peter Pettigrew. Will feature events from Prisoner of Azkaban and Order of the Phoenix and others. Told mostly from Remus's point of view. R/S. Slash in later chapters.
1. Prologue One

**TITLE: MIDNIGHT MOON WITH THE STARS**

**RATED: T for Teen, May change to M for Mature later on  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything. All characters (Aside from Mister Lee and a few others here and there) belong to J.K Rowling's fabulous mind and not to me.  
**

**o o o o o o**

"…_There were a bunch of muggles involved, some injured, some killed. But the biggest travesty was the death of wizard Peter Pettigrew. Reporters are telling me that all that was left of him was a single finger…The unforgivable death curse was uttered by Sirius Black…"_

The radio stopped at once, no longer filling the air with its static voice of sad, sad news. Remus sat behind his desk and sighed. _How did all of this happen? _he thought at once. He vaguely recalled his Seventh Year and regarded it as though it had only been yesterday. Then his mind bashed at the reality of Sirius Black. Had he been stupid all of those years to believe that a Black could be different, that a Black could be anything but cunning and evil?

_No, he hadn't_. Perhaps Remus was in denial, but he knew at once when he had heard about it a few hours ago that this was not the Sirius he knew, this was not the Sirius that laughed with a snort, pranked like he couldn't go one day without tricking someone and loved his friends even if he didn't verbalize it. Sure, sometimes Sirius could go a bit too far, but in the end he always made up for it.

And he was not a killer. There just was _no way_.

Remus stared across his desk to the wall that had a plethora of black and white photos covering it. The majority of the pictures had been taken by him. His eyes glossed over Peter and he froze. _Peter is dead. One of my best friends is dead and I'm never going to see him again. He's gone, he's gone forever. _Truly Remus felt guilt among his grief, confusion and sadness. He felt guilt for never having known the boy – _man_ as much as he had gotten to know James and Sirius. Peter just kind of always followed them around, trying to belong, trying to be popular amongst the Gryffindor Golden Boys (as James and Sirius liked to call themselves) but never really _getting there_.

Then his mind reverted back to James. He had lost two friends in a matter of days, one to the Dark Lord no less. Remus couldn't begin to wrap his head around what he was feeling and he couldn't find a logical explanation either. It was too much, too much for his head tonight.

So he sat there and he seat there trying to wipe everything from his mind when he heard a knock on the window. He jumped with a start and turned his head in the direction of the window before slowly getting up. Remus cracked the window open cautiously, but saw nothing. "Must've been a tree branch or… something…" Suddenly a man with slick black hair, a cut on his cheek and in tattered clothing appeared in front of him. He knew instantly that it was Sirius, but he certainly didn't look like his normal confident (if not to an overwhelming and egotistical point) and cool-dude self. For starters, he looked scared, from the way his eyes blinked constantly to his chattering teeth and the way his body was shaking in an unnatural way. Remus recognized it immediately as he had gone through regular bouts of anxiety after long nights of transformation.

"Sirius…" Remus started, then paused as he saw Sirius give a look of desperation, "What, w-what have you done?" He wanted to ask him why he was here, he wanted to ask if it was true, he wanted to ask Sirius to come inside and share a cup of tea with him while they talked about James's and Lily's son and how Remus had heard little Harry had taken his first few steps that day, but he couldn't, not yet.

Sirius bit his bottom lip and if Remus hadn't been so shell shocked by this he probably would've thought it was awfully cute, like always, but instead he stood there, waiting for Sirius to say something.

Finally Sirius spoke, tears threatening to fall down his face, "What then Remus? You _believe _them? You _believe_ I killed Wormtail? God and to think I apparated all the way over here just so I could listen to a voice of reasoning before they take me…"

"Take you where?" Remus asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Azkaban, of course! The-you all seem to believe exactly what you've seen or barely heard. They'll find me shortly, I'm certain, probably without trial too. I'm going to go barking mad and it's all going to be Peter's own damn fault! That _scum_, that _liar_." Sirius's voice was rough and ragged, even more so than usual.

"Don't you dare talk about Wormtail like that! If the news is true if all that was really left of him was a finger. I don't know you, Sirius! This is all so damn confusing!" Remus held his head, "I don't know who to trust anymore " and then he managed to bring up as much courage as he could before asking the next question, "Padfoot, did you… did you kill him? Is it true?"

There was silence, deathly silence for what seemed like days before Sirius pulled Remus's hands together with his and spoke, "I-I… " Sirius had to make the final decision now, whether to lie or tell the truth, whether to pull Remus, the boy he loved more than anyone, into this mess or push him out of his life forever. "… It's true, Remus…"

Simultaneously three things happened, Remus pulled his hands away from Sirius's, muttered some cross words, then about five Dementors appeared behind Sirius and before he even knew it, he was surrounded and being dragged off to Azkaban with no hope of ever being saved.

Remus wanted to scream. He wanted to trash his house, he wanted to drink until he couldn't see with his eyes closed _or_ opened. He quickly decided on the third option and went to his many containers of Fire Whisky, swallowing one right after the other until there wasn't anything left except Butter Beer and the last thing he wanted was to feel warm inside.

He staggered towards his bed and laid down under the covers, knowing that he would regret all of this tomorrow. But for right now he couldn't feel anything, for right now he couldn't truly feel betrayed by the one and only Sirius Black.

**o o o o o o  
**

Sirius was thrown into his new 'home' otherwise known as his prison cell at once by the Dementors. He wasn't happy and it wasn't just because the Dementors were sucking all of the fun out of anything either. He crawled over to the side of his cell and sat down, trying to close his eyes but all he could see was Remus's face; his beautiful face brought into a look of shame, a look that spoke clearly to him, "You have betrayed me, Sirius Black."

Suddenly a guard shouted at him, "You have a visitor, Scumbag!"

"Is that really necessary Mister Lee? I think 'scumbag' is a bit derogatory, but you know…" said a voice that Sirius knew far too well. It was Dumbledore after all.

"Hmmph," said the guard before walking off and slightly out of sight.

"Sirius…" Dumbledore peered down from above, "This is most definitely not where I would've hoped to have found you tonight."

"Well, I did _kill_ someone, Dumbledore. They don't tend to let people like me walk free after that." He stood up and got closer to the bars and as he did so the Dementors powers made his insides feel icy cold, a million bad memories and broken promises brought to the forefront of his mind now, but he brushed it aside with as much willpower as he could.

Dumbledore sighed inwardly, something that Sirius had hardly seen before. Most of his years at Hogwarts were full of Dumbledore's first day speech and smile, the wink that he gave to certain students, never appearing to get a little more than frustrated or melancholic, but right now, Dumbledore's inner emotions were showing through and Sirius wasn't sure whether he liked that or not.

"Are you absolutely sure that you have murdered Mister Pettigrew?" Dumbledore leaned even closer to Sirius, "I can see your eyes Sirius and they're not the eyes of a murderer, just a prankster that got in over his head by trying to fight a certain battle by himself."

Sirius knew that Dumbledore knew. He didn't know how, but he had learned a long time ago that questioning Dumbledore was pointless. There were just some things that were to be left alone, he guessed. He questioned himself on what to say and closed his eyes, breaking the eye contact he had allowed Dumbledore to have with him.

He coughed, "Albus, I killed Wor – Pettigrew. You've seen the news and heard the stories by now, haven't you?"

"Yes, but I also managed to get a front row view of it as well, so excuse me if I don't exactly buy into what everyone else is saying."

"Just trust me on this, Albus. I know I was the prankster boy during my Hogwarts days, but I'm a man now and I can handle what they're certainly going to throw at me." Sirius silently pleaded that Dumbledore would just leave it alone, just allow Sirius to suffer in silence and get what he probably deserved.

Dumbledore looked down at his wrist as though there was a watch there to tell him the time, "Well, I guess I will have to, Sirius because it appears to me that I have somewhere else to be right now… There is a certain godchild that needs attending to." He backed away from the bars and saw Sirius slightly frown, "This will be our last conversation for quite some time, but it's not the last one. Hang on to that, Sirius, my friend." Dumbledore turned away, but not without winking first and before long Sirius couldn't even hear his footsteps anymore.

_Well, at least I know some things never change_, he thought. Sirius sat back down and crawled over to the battered bed cushion that they had allotted him. He curled up his knees and tried to close his eyes to sleep, sure that all of his dreams would be real horrors from now on.

**o o o o o o**

**SPECIAL THANKS: **

**Kiruh: Who helped me with my horrible spelling and grammar. You are an awesome friend!**

**Anyone who reads this: Because you read this  
**


	2. Prologue Two

**TITLE: MIDNIGHT MOON WITH THE STARS**

**RATED: T for Teen, May change to M for Mature later on**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything. All characters (Aside from Mister Lee and a few others here and there) belong to J.K Rowling's fabulous mind and not to me.**

**o o o o o o**

Remus stirred in his sleep, tossing and turning like mad. It was his usual kind of sleep ever since that day everything changed for him. His eyes were shut in pain; his face looked like a cutting board with all of the cuts and bruises it had received from the transformation three nights ago. His body was skinny, skinny as a skeleton with an odd grey tint to the colour of his skin. Suddenly Remus shot up and noticed at once that he had a cold sweat all over his face and body, seeping into his cuts and making them sting with fire. He made a grunt and sighed, then looked at the clock to see it read 5:15 am. "Well, that must be a record for longest amount of sleep in years!" His voice was full of irony and cynicism.

Remus lay back down on his pillow and curled up onto his side. He starred at the pillow beside him and suddenly felt a pang of want; a want for someone else to be laying there beside him, ruffling his hair or just snoring while he slept. Remus stopped, or tried to stop thinking about _him_, about the man that had betrayed him. But he didn't have the strength, so before he knew it he was delving deep into his past…

**o o o o o o**

_It was November 1975 and there looked to be an early start to winter with white blankets of snow covering all of Hogwarts. It was unmistakably cold, but Remus braved the weather because he knew once he made it to his destination he would see the sculptured face of Sirius Black and he knew for certain that that would warm him up. It wasn't like him to bend over backwards for people, even if they were a good friend of his, but with Sirius it was different, with Sirius he would do anything. _

"_Moony! Moony, over here!" he heard someone shout a few minutes later. Remus looked in all directions before he felt the coldness of a snowball hit him on the back of the head and then heard laugher from behind. He turned quickly and saw a boy in a black cloak in front of him, beaming with a smile. _

"_I swear, Pad foot, you're going to wish you had never done that after I'm through with you!" and at once he started running towards the taller boy, almost tripping over his own feet, but maintaining balance shortly after. The taller boy took a minute to understand was happening, but as soon as he did he ran faster than he ever thought himself possible of. Both boys were running in the direction of the forbidden forest with Sirius wishing he had brought the Invisible Cloak with him so he could hide and Remus wishing he had remembered his wand so he could slow Sirius down. Before long Sirius had to stop, feeling his numb legs give out and trying to breathe in as much breath as possible when Remus came crashing into him, tackling him half to death. _

"_Remie…Remie, get off of me, will you? I'll personally allow you to put a snowball down my cloak if you'll just get off of me!" he said, trying to move under the strength of Remus that Sirius had forgotten the smaller boy possessed. _

"_Oh, alright, fine!" Remus said, not wanting to miss the chance of Sirius running around trying to get ice off his back. _

_The smaller boy got off, and then helped the taller boy back up. Sirius's cheeks were red as fire and his lips looked chapped as well. Oh, his lips_, _thought Remus. How he wanted to kiss them and explore the other boys mouth with his tongue. He had fantasized about it a million times before, but at a time like this where he was alone with the boy it was maximized by at least a hundred percent. Before he could stop himself, he brought his hands up to the other boys' cheeks and leaned in for a kiss. It was wet, but amazing. Remus felt his body electrify as Sirius's tongue entered his mouth and they played a one-on-one rendition of tonsil Hokey. Remus's eyes were closed and he felt like the world had stopped for him. At once he realized that all of those Romance novels that he had read were right; it really did feel like fireworks, it really did feel like the world was only spinning for them. _

_The embrace was broken seconds later, "Moony, Moony…" Sirius paused and looked down at the other boy with a sad smirk, "I… I don't know what just happened. One minute we were chasing after each other in the snow and the next we're snogging. I…" he closed his mouth, not really knowing what else to say, but noticing hopelessly that the other boy looked crushed. "Do you-do you like me, Moony? Like, more than just two mates hanging out and having fun?" _

_Remus wanted to shout his like, no love for Sirius to the skies, but he was momentarily frozen before he decided that it would be best to lie, that he could just say he wanted to try it, to see if he liked it and that it wasn't what he thought it was going to be, which wasn't exactly lying when he thought about it. "Pad foot, no. We're just mates, nothing more there than that. I just, you know, wanted to try it, to see what it was like, but it, uh, definitely wasn't what I thought it was going to be…" He muttered the last part rather low and lowered his head, hoping Sirius wouldn't catch on to what his true meaning was. _

_But Sirius did, "Moony, you are lying, aren't you?" he titled Remus's head up in a gentle fashion so he could look him straight in the eye, "I can always tell when you're lying because your self esteem goes right to the gutter and you go back to acting like you did in First Year" Everything was so gentle right now, from Sirius's demeanor to the way he talked. Remus quivered just a little bit, hating himself as he did it because he knew it showed what he saw as weakness. "Look, Moony, it's okay. Just for the love of Dumbledore say something to me!" _

_Remus smirked ever so slightly and Sirius heaved a sigh of relief. "Pad foot, I know you aren't into this. We should just go back to the dorms and act like this never happened, okay?" Remus tried to cut his hand loose from Sirius, but felt resistance and turned back, "What? Is it going to be too awkward for you? I'd rather not have to lose a friend too!" He was almost near tears now, he didn't know if he could make it without Sirius wanting to talk to him let alone not wanting to be around him, but all of his worries were instantly lifted at Sirius's next words. "Moony, babe, I __**don't**__want to act like this never happened. In fact, I kind of would like it if we could have an instant replay of that amazing lip action, don't you?" And he laughed and so did Remus and there were many upon many of replay lip action. _

**o o o o o o**

Sirius awoke to the sound of his gate opening and a ration of food being pushed up near him. _This is it, _he thought, _I have to do this just perfectly or I'm a goner for sure!_ Within seconds Sirius resembled that of a great big black dog, almost a perfect match to the Grim, but without the hatred or demon dog persona. He ran for it, skidding outside of the gate opening and bouncing around the upcoming Dementors, hoping that they couldn't still sense the man that was inside of him. Sirius yelled at the dog's brain, _Go boy, go! To the right, now the left, you are almost there!_ and the dog followed the orders, if not with a bit of stubbornness intact. Finally, the black dog made it to the outside world.

The mutt made sure to put as much distance between himself and Azkaban and apparated at once, but not before he heard a scream from the prison and he knew instantly that it had everything to do with him. Sirius was now near Privot Drive, the home of Harry Potter, his godson. He vaguely remembered the last time he had seen Harry, which he knew had been almost twelve years ago. There was a lot of chaos that day and although he wanted to scream at the loss of his best friend, his brother, he had to stay calm. He went at once to Grodic Hallows and tried to convince Hagrid to let him take little Harry to safety. When Hagrid wouldn't let up and said that Dumbledore had specifically asked for Hagrid to deliver Harry, he gave Hagrid his motorcycle that had been modified to float in the air. After that Sirius wasn't sure what happened to them, but he had other things to worry about at that point: Wormtail.

Sirius sighed as he remembered hours later, having that conversation with Remus, seeing Remus's face so hurt and he died even more inside than he thought was possible. Most days were not like today, most days he spent trying not to think about Remus, trying not to think about their first kiss, the first day he met him, the years leading up to The War and everything that reminded him of the man he still very much loved. He liked to think that he had done Remus a favor that day by telling him what he knew Remus didn't want to hear. Sirius's mind roamed in a location that it hadn't in so long, placing memories of the Marauders in front of his glossy eyes and memories that Remus and him had hidden from Prongs and the Wormtail he thought he knew…

**o o o o o o**

"_Remus, will you look at me, please?" _

_Sirius was over at his bed looking worried at the other boy's sudden quiet nature. He had noticed it all day, even when Prongs and Wormtail had been around, but now that they were gone off for dinner in the Great Hall, he figured this would be the best chance to try and figure out Remus's problem. _

_Remus looked up, "What do you want, Sirius?"_

"_I want to know why you've been so quiet today and have been ignoring me" _

"_What, w-what are you talking about?" There was Remus's famous stutter, the stutter that told Sirius something was incredibly wrong and Remus definitely didn't want to talk about it. _

_He stood up and walked over to Remus, pulled the book from the boy's hands and then sat beside him on the bed. "Come off it, Remie, and tell me what's wrong!" He wanted to be gentler, but his voice came out a lot harsher than he intended. He placed his hand on the small of Remus's back and pulled the smaller boy close, "I, I didn't mean for it to come out like that… I just want to help you, love. Like I'm always telling you, your problems are my problems too and we'll take on the problem together!" Sirius smiled and hoped Remus would answer. _

"_It's stupid, really" Remus started, "But I'm…I'm scared out of my wits about it anyways."_

"_What's 'it'? I doubt it's stupid"_

"_Well, you know, this is our last year of Hogwarts…" Sirius nodded, "And The Dark Lord has been getting more and more powerful. I'm just afraid that I'm either going to lose James and Peter after this year or I'm going to lose them to the War and, and I can't even begin to think about losing you, Pad Foot. It's like that Winter day back in Fifth Year when I was certain that you were going to leave me, except now you could actually die and I would never actually get to see you again. I don't want to lose you!" By this point Remus was crying his eyes out into Sirius's shoulder, "I hate this! I hate being weak around you. I don't even want to cry…"_

_Sirius kissed Remus's forehead and shushed him like a mother would a crying child, "Moony, it's going to be okay! We are up against a lot, sure, but we'll win, we will! I'm not going anywhere either and neither are James's or Peter, they're going to be right here fighting right alongside you. I'm always going to be beside you too, even If something terribly wrong happens I'll always be with you, don't you know that?"_

_Remus nodded between sobs, "And you aren't weak at all. You are one of the strongest people I've ever known, babe."_

_A few minutes went by with hushed sobs and the sound of wind outside the window before Remus quiet crying long enough to ask a question, "Sirius, d-do you love me?"_

_Sirius looked dumbfounded and felt shocked, "Of course I do, Moony. Why would you even ask such a silly question?"_

"_I don't know, sometimes I just want to make sure." Sirius heard Remus take in a big breath, "… Pad Foot, can you, you know, show me just how much you love me?"_

"_Are you asking me what I think you're asking me?"_

_Remus smiled and seemed to relax a little, "Yeah, I am… And I'm ready for it too. I know last year we had to stop because I got too freaked out and just couldn't, but it's different. I know you'll take care of me and that you'll try not to hurt me."_

"_I'd never hurt you, Moony. I promise you that."_

"_No, Pad Foot, don't make a promise that you can't keep…"_

_Sirius told Moony that he understood, but on the inside he still silently kept that promise. _

_Pretty soon they were crashing into each other, tearing off the other persons clothing and kissing bear skin. Sirius slid his fingers across the fading scars on Remus's back and kissed his neck, while whispering, "I've always wanted to do this with you. I've always wanted to make you happy." He kept it at a slow pace and listened to what Remus wanted. Sirius thrust in and out, kissing the other boys chest and closing his eyes, letting the pleasure wash over him one second at a time. _

_It was sweet and simple, it was safe and slow, it was perfect. _

"_I love you, Moony. I love you more than I've loved, well, anything." Sirius said after they were done. _

_Then the boys crawled into Remus's bed and fell asleep in each other's arm, not as scared for the future as they were before. _

**o o o o o o**

There was a hoot at the Kitchen window; the hoot came from a barn owl, notably from Hogwarts. Remus stood up and went to fetch the envelope, dreading it as he walked.

Once he had freed the letter from the owl it flew into the house and began eating off of Remus's plate. Remus opened the envelope and read it.

_Dear Mr. Remus Lupin, _

_As you are already aware I have sent you three other owl posts in the past month with no such reply. _

_I am still in need of a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, so I am giving you the offer once again for this school year. I am aware of your current state of mind and living at this moment, but feel that this would be best for you, especially given what will likely happen this year. _

_I hope that your answer is yes. _

_All the best, _

_Albus Dumbledore_

_P.S. I have made it very clear to the owl that he must not leave you until you send a reply. _

Remus didn't know what to do. There was a part of him that very much wanted to go back to Hogwarts and teach and mold the mind of the younger generation, but there was also a part of him that dreaded the memories that would come back to him once he arrived there. He noticed with annoyance that the owl had started to peck at his hair now and was getting a bit annoyed itself.

"Alright, alright!" he said

_Dear Albus, _

_You've won me over, Albus! _

_You can expect me at Hogwarts on September 1__st__ amongst all of the students. _

_Sincerely yours, _

_Remus Lupin _

_P.S Did you by chance also tell him to eat half of my breakfast as well?_

Remus chuckled despite himself, clipped the envelope to the owls foot and watched it as it flew off, wishing he could do the same right this very second.

**o o o o o o**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not as good as the first part, I know. It also wasn't beta'd either, so I image it's littered with grammar and spelling mistake every couple lines. I still hope that you enjoy! **

**THANKS TO: **

**MidnightxExchange and hotel-bella-muerte for being the first to review this story!**


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